Am I mentally ill, why am I like this? help?

Sounds like bipolar disorder, not depression. Paxil is good for controlling that but you have to give it a few weeks to kick in. Your drinking obsessively, sounds like a little OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which Paxil (20 - 40 mg) 20 to start to see how well you respond to it, if it doesn't help much you may need to increase it. I found that Paxil medication helps and it doesn't make you feel odd or out of yourself so to speak, but don't use your over-drinking as an excuse for OCD even though you may have it. Medications and dosages work different for differnet people. Right now, you want to control your symptoms and feel better so you can function. Your worrying is not totally unusual, as I too would have been worried about the credit card myself. Medications only help, they don't cure. It's very upsetting when your getting the run around by the Dr.s who are supposed to be helping you. I believe they are trying but they might not know how you are feeling, or they may just be putting your symptoms in the same categories as the rest. Your high, highs and low lows are a sign of bipolar disorder and depression medication may help a little but not as much as medication for bi-polar disorder. Try, if you can to get some time out for yourself. You seem a bit overwhelmed with working and taking care of your daughter even though you are part time. You still need some time out for yourself, just to chill, shop, walk or what ever you want to do without the distraction of a child, even though you love her. You still need some "me" time. Your not alone. Best wishes